Becoming

"In Life have a friend that is like a mirror and a shadow; Mirror doesn't lie and shadow never leaves" Web

Since starting my course with Marissa Peer, much has come to the surface. The quote above and the picture fit perfect with this morning's insights gained during my morning power walk with Micha, my adorable little dog.

I am feeling very aware but also vulnerable right now due to these realizations:

1. I am an adult now and no one can do anything to me which I do not allow therefore I take responsibility for the allowing. No more letting the martyr and victim complex affect my everyday life. 2. Any relationship can be worked out as long as we are willing, authentically ourselves, and BOTH choose, love, and want to be with the other. There has to be a commitment to 'us and ours', and complete trust and honesty. Respecting each other and effective communication are vital. Calling each other on hurtful behavior enables growth. 3. There was more from my past affecting me than I had thought. I was reliving it instead of reviewing it. I am humbled by my own arrogance and ignorance. The realization increased the compassion for myself and others, opened the door for understanding and complete forgiveness for myself and others. 4. A relationship is actually working when things come up from the past which need to be processed. "Once you're settled in nice and cozy into your relationship, the very experience of being in love stirs up feelings that are less than lovey-dovey. Why? Because your subconscious perceives being so intimate with someone as risky: the closer you get, the more you stand to lose. You're caught in a bind - you want to be in the relationship, but you're also afraid of losing it and yourself." Katie & Gay Hendricks. 5. An argument is not the end of the world but can clear the air and bring things up which need to be looked at. It is an opportunity to get closer to the other person and to learn more about each other as well as the self. 6. I need to stop running into my fantasy world when things get hard, learn to stand my ground, and stop the runaway train of negative thoughts. Some things are worth fighting for and it is ok to show and embrace my own vulnerability. 7. I am enough and I love and embrace myself just as I am as I love and embrace those around me just as they are. I am lovable and beautiful just the way I am. 8. Change your story, change your life. I am working on reestablishing my inner peace and creating a brilliant now and future. 9. Each situation is different, each person is different and we assign them the roles they play in our lives. I am reviewing and rewriting. 10. That which most disturbs me in others is usually something I do myself. The relationships around me are a mirror showing me where I am at and where I need to improve. I am committed to becoming the 'me' I know I am deep inside. 11. It is time to face my fears, install new programs, acquire new skills. I am determined that I will do better and gain the skills to have loving and lasting relationships in my life.

I have decided to print this out to remind myself to stay on this beautiful journey of becoming. GC Sinclaire 11/24/2017